The MAGA 5-second rule: if someone criticizes Trump but you get a defense out within five seconds, you’ve protected the god.
MAGA bullshit is nothing new. Every stupid, degenerate cult in history has acted thus. They defend each other with reflexive aggression. Every attempt at injecting sanity is resisted with vicious and unthinking force. They are united by fear.
“Orthodoxy means not thinking – not needing to think.” – George Orwell
How are you going to beat them, when you must always think about what you are doing? How will being rational and considered ever beat the bleating automatons? They’re faster, more effective, and more out of control. Reason must take great strides to catch up with ignorance.
Trump knows how to get through to the average human being. They only understand fear. It is fear that binds them, that connects them to him. You can’t counter-program them with reason, they will not be convinced by anything logical. If you try, you will be drowned out, ignored, silenced. They must be overpowered, not persuaded. The forces of sanity must overwhelm them.
Can we make reason faster, better, more able to compete with lies and nonsense? Must the battle be won on their level or lost?
And if you don’t like what I’m saying, you can leave the room. Of course, there goes your rank, there goes your future, but you just feel nice and loose, OK, because we’re all on the same team.
Trump, addressing military leadership in Quantico, Virginia
He’s kidding, of course. Just joking around, naturally. Oh, Trump and his jokes!
But you know, honestly, the second you walk out, you’re DONE FOR. For real. Done for.
It’s concerning how receptive the military is to Trump, but perhaps not very surprising. Positions of power, like police officers and military personnel, have always attracted a certain personality. Authoritarians, violent people, aggressive people, psychopaths, and so on. Without any deliberate steps being taken to identify and cut these people out of such positions, they’re bound to accumulate. Useful for an army, you might argue, but not for one that’s being deployed against its own citizens.
We’re very proud of our military. I rebuilt the military during my first term. It’s one of the greatest achievements. We had the greatest economy in history and I built the military. Those are the two things I say more than anything else. And I also kept us safe at the borders. We had very good borders. We didn’t have people coming in from jails and prisons and everything like took place over the last four years.
Trump
It goes on and on and on, doesn’t it? Self-praise and unaccountable claims, again and again. More and more. He can never get enough. How about you focus on making people’s actual fucking lives better, Mr. President, instead of grandstanding all fucking day? That’s all he knows how to do. Praise himself over and over, and it never fucking ends.
He must have a REAL problem with self-esteem if THAT’S what he needs to do to make himself feel good. Literally every utterance out of that fat mouth (which is often not speaking but in receipt of cheeseburgers) contains some kind of boast about how amazing he is, what a great job he’s done, how great everything he does is, and how anyone who questions him is the worst person on Earth.
It’s the duty of every good society to PROTECT its people from narcissists like Trump. But America failed, and now look what we all have to endure for four years. The relentless failure this man causes is rivaled only by his unceasing need to pretend everything’s going amazingly.
Most people cannot IMAGINE the depths of Trump’s self-disgust, even people who have struggled with self-esteem issues before. He’s constantly under attack, constantly being eaten from the inside out.
People who are confident and secure in themselves DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS. They do NOT need to brag constantly in every fucking speech about how great they are. Trump, who is so full of self-loathing, is driven to absolute extremes by his failure to accept his own flaws. Just imagine having so much self-contempt and always having to try and outrun it.
Well, he can’t run forever. It’s all going to catch up to him, and it’s going to hit him like nothing else.
I know Pete spoke about it. He gave a great speech, I thought, great speech. I don’t want him to get so good — I hate that, you know? No, I hate it. I almost fired him. I said, you can’t — I don’t want to go on after that.
We all know his speeches are nothing but the ravings of an attention-seeking madman, but we also know he thinks his speeches are ABSOLUTE ARTISTRY. Trump thinks he is the best. Trump thinks he is the smartest. He imagines he’s some great orator, which is funny, considering he can’t get through two sentences normally without getting completely sidetracked by another topic.
You’d think that someone who considers himself such a genius would not feel threatened by someone else coming into their own with public speaking, but for some reason, Trump REALLY takes notice whenever someone around him is getting good at something. Of course he’s not really a genius; he’s inept at everything, so he probably SHOULD feel threatened, but it flies in the face of the public image he likes to project.
Everything’s a zero-sum game for Trump, which isn’t surprising considering he was brought up by a businessman. More attention for others means less attention for him. More praise for others means less for him. So, he doesn’t want very high-profile people in his administration. He wants loyal people who will also shut up when he wants them to and not take the stage away from him.
We saw a similar dynamic play out with Trump and Musk (who, it seems, are back in cahoots, though Musk’s public image is suffering HUGELY). Trump felt that Musk was getting a little too involved, so he started distancing himself. You don’t get to take away my attention, asshole, I’m THE ATTENTION WHORE!
Regarding the laughable name change from the DOD to the “Department of War”, Trump said:
And I have to be honest, it’s so popular. It’s — I thought it would be met with fury on the left, but they’re sort of giving up, I must be honest with you. They’ve had it. They’ve had it with Trump. They’ve been after me for so many years now. Here we are. Here we are. Come to the White House anytime you’d like. No, they’ve given up, bad — a lot of bad people. But all over that’s been so popular. It’s been a very popular. I really thought that we were going to have to sort of fight it through. There’s been no fight. There’s been no fight. Like when I called the Gulf of America, the Gulf of America, because to me, it was always the Gulf of America. I could never understand. We have 92 percent of the frontage. And for years, actually 350 years, they were there before us, it was called the Gulf of Mexico. I just had this idea.
Oh for fuck’s sake, stop rambling! What is he even talking about?
“No, they’ve given up, bad — a lot of bad people.” … WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
No, the Left – the reason why they’re not fighting this bullshit is because they’ve worked out that Trump’s little name changes mean literally nothing except, you know, spending money changing the names on physical documents and websites and shit like that. How about criticizing government debt and then spending millions of dollars to change the DOD to the Department of War! As if that fucking means anything! The only real war America is fighting right now is the one on its own citizens! It’s an utterly craven and cowardly country, openly allowing the growth of powers like Russia and China, which threaten it.
I’m looking at a map. I’m saying, we have most of the frontage, why is it Gulf of Mexico? Why isn’t it the Gulf of America? And I made the change and it went smoothly. I mean, we had a couple of fake news outlets that refused to make the change and then one of them, AP took us to court and we won. And the judge, who was a somewhat liberal judge said, the name is the Gulf of America, because AP refused to call it the Gulf of America. They wrote — they’re not a good outfit by the way. They call it the Gulf of Mexico. I said, no, the Gulf of America is the name. And the judge actually said that, in fact, you can’t even go into the room because what you’re doing is not appropriate. The name is the Gulf of America. Google Maps changed the name. Everybody did, but AP wouldn’t. And then we won in court. How about that? Isn’t that so cool. As Secretary Hegseth beautifully described, the name change reflects far more than the shift in branding. It’s really a historic reassertion of our purpose and our identity and our pride. That’s when we go with the word war.
Of course. That was just another excuse to brag about a court case his administration won, or something like that. We’re so great. We do things.
Too much exposure to Trump will literally frazzle your brain. It’s no joke. This insanity will take you out. The fact that we all still function in the face of it is nothing short of miraculous.
And you know, we want war because we want to have no wars, but you have to be there. And you know, sometimes you have to do it. I have settled so many wars since we’re here. We’re here almost nine months and I’ve settled seven and yesterday we might have settled the biggest of them all. Although, I don’t know, Pakistan, India was very big, both nuclear powers, I settled that.
OK, is this a speech or a fever dream? How many times can he go off track before he loses it completely?
You know, we should totally turn this into a game. Take a drink whenever Trump completely loses focus of what he is trying to say!
But yesterday could be the settlement in the Middle East. That hasn’t happened for 3,000 years. I said, how long have you been fighting? 3,000 years, sir. That’s a long time. But we got it, I think, settled. We’ll see. Hamas has to agree. And if they don’t, it’s going to be very tough on them, but it is what it is. But all of the Arab nations, Muslim nations have agreed.
HAHAHAHA. Sure. Definitely solved forever!
The delusion’s strong in this one!
Israel has agreed. It’s an amazing thing. It just came together. War is very strange. You know, you never know what’s going to happen with war. The easiest one of them all is Putin. I said, number one, it’s a war that would have never happened if I were president, if the election were rigged. And if I were president, that war would have never happened, not even a little chance.
You keep saying that, and yet you’re president now and it’s still fucking happening!
And it didn’t happen for four years. But I knew Putin very well and I thought that would be easy because I know him so well. Well, that one’s turned out to be the hardest of them all.
Right, but you JUST said it was the easiest one, so which is it? Is Putin under control or isn’t he?
That’s lots of wars that’s all combined. That’s a lot of wars. Many of you were over there in many different capacities, in many different countries. That was a — that’s a big — that’s a big part of the earth. But if that works out, it would be eight plus I’m going to give myself two or three for that one.
Boring!
And then we just have the one to settle; we have to settle it up with President Putin and Zelenskyy, going to get them together and get it done.
Yeah, that’s what you said last time, too. Didn’t work then, and it won’t work now, you absolute buffoon.
But the only way we can do that is through strength. I mean, if we were weak, they wouldn’t even take my phone call.
Yeah, that’s how that works.
But we have extreme strength. We had the horror show in Afghanistan, which is really the reason I think that Putin went in. He saw that horror show by Biden and his team of incompetent people.
Another round of self-praise incoming? But it’s been five seconds since you finished the last one!
Alright, that’s enough of that clusterfuck of a speech. Didn’t even make it a quarter of the way through! Fucking hell, this is unbearable. He has the attention span of an insect and the concentration of a rock. You can’t make sense of what he says because there’s no sense there. You can’t engage with it because it’s pure fantasy. What real things has he actually said? NONE.
Alternate Titles
Trump’s Fever Dream Speech
The President Goes Nuts
A Hot Mess Of Fucking Insanity
The Great Braggadocious One